i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
