My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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