margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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