I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
