haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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