the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
