...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
this just has baby written all over it
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
