we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
