God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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