After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
