Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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