So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
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My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
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Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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