I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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