i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
