I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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