listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
