u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
