Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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