Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
