i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Reggie can tackle my bush.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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