5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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