I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
