A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
