You're earring is so big in my mouth
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
