I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
