my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
