if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
