ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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