He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
