Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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