He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
