I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
