Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He shit in the fireplace
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
