Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
we should paint friendship bongs
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