before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
