I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
