Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just blew my weed a kiss
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
