I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
