It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
