Don't you send me to vm
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
