I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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