Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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