the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
