Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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