you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
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i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
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I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
there is puke in my bra ... again
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