I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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