wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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