HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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