for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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