I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
