just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
