Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
