it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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