So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
