I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
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She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
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I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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