The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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