I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My bed smells like the plague
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
