Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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