Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Nobody cheats on THIS.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
